Did something “bad”? 3 stupid-simple ways to appease the Parental Unit

Okay, we admit that headline was pure clickbait. Guilty as charged. We’re bad peoples. You are truly not going to find anything here that is going to add value to your life in any way. Please. Just leave.

*wistful sigh*
☾begin lonely Slug ramblings☽

seafood sonata
|SEAFØØD•SØNATA|
♪♫ If your parents had sent you for music lessons and you, like us, had failed to make a decent career out of it (e.g. royal philharmonic orchestra member, piano teacher, street busker), you could still at least reward their years of tuition fees by telling them what a Sonata means.
.
.
Failing that. The least you could do is put a smile on said parent’s face by assembling a platter of the following ☮ Peace Øffering™ (100% success rate. Yes, we gonna give you step-by-step instructions):

  • 1 x whole fish. Scaled, gutted, filleted, coated with tempura batter & parmesan crumbs, and then fried until golden like the sun
  • 1 x small squid. Gutted, sliced into rings, battered and fried as above
  • Medley of chips: french fries, sweet potato fries, and keropok ikan (traditional fish crackers)
  • Slice of lemon and handful of cherry tomatoes, for colour and the deception of ‘wholesomeness’
  • Chopped cilantro, again for colour, and some people actually like it (not everyone thinks it tastes like soap ☠ )

.
.
.
⚐ Failing that. We are happy to help prepare the above Peace Øffering™ on your behalf in exchange for a small fee.
Peace Øffering Pte Ltd hotline: ☎ 86888575

Ad break for the attention deficit!
☼ Too hot to step out? Give Mum a break — get a wholesome, hearty platter delivered to your doorstep
☑ Order from Deliveroo
☑ Order from Foodpanda

this is not a google ad

tom yum pasta vongole (1)
|TØM•YUM•VØNGØLE|
We’re extending this special dish for another two weeks, because
[1] we ran out of clams last week, and although most of you agreed it tastes great with shrimp, too… we know most of youse really really really love clams. Good news, clams are back in stock ☺
[2] you keep asking for it. Simple as that ☺ Bring yo mama this time!
p/s: we added the notebook to make the pic look intellectual

Ad break!
☔ Lazy to shower, put on clean clothes, go out to tapau food etc etc? ⛾ Wanna spoil the parentals with ‘breakfast in bed/ bathtub’? There is hope for you yet —
Deliveroo — $3 flat delivery fee, delivers within 32mins, nearby areas ~2km
Foodpanda — Slightly wider reach ~3km, delivers within the hour

advertise to our readership of 20! e-mail us today!

frothy rose hibiscus bandung (1)
|NATURAL•BANDUNG|
Last day to try this, if you’re into drinking real ⚘ flower ⚘ petals. Not even sure why we created this; it’s got hipster written all over it and you know we are sooooo not hipster. Or are we? Because someone once said we’re ten-years-old so we were the first hipsters. Okay we’re talking to ourselves again and that’s not cool, Sluggie. Not. Cool. (More proof that we’re not hipsters coz we’re so uncool…)

⛐ Anyhoo, in a few short hours, we’re changing the special beverage of the week to something alcoholic. Like, upside-down-bottle-in-a-mug kind of alcoholic. We think it’ll be a fun drink/game for a Mother’s Day weekend, because everyone knows a family that drinks together spills all their dirty little secrets together.

Even =^_^= Cowboy doesn’t respond to our monologues anymore. We’re so lonely, pls come chat with us. Hi.

#sharinghappyness
#wearenothipsters
#foodneverabandons


Instagram | ★ Facebook | ★ Twitter

5 new irresistible dishes for the next 7 days

Spicy Sausage Gumbo

1. Spicy Sausage Gumbo
Buried somewhere under all those grilled veggies, quinoa and our TGS no-flour, no-butter, tomato “roux”, is a juicy german bratwurst waiting to burst in your mouth with every bite. The kind that you save for last. This one is for you, Maria.

spicy sausage gumbo

Portobello Lava Cloud Egg
2. Portobello Lava Cloud Egg
Because poached eggs are so 2015, gurl.
This is a lava soufflé egg white omelette, stuffed with roasted veggies and a RUNNY YOLK, all gently sat atop a giant parmesan portobello.
To enhance quality of life, ask to pair it with some smoked salmon, applewood bacon, or honey ham.

portobello cloud egg

creamsicle screwdriver pop soda

3. Creamsicle Screwdriver Pop Soda
Why not get a little buzzed and your daily Vit C dose at the same time?
Vodka, orange, vanilla gelato, and soda is all you need.

Little known fact: get 1-for-1 cocktails every Mon & Tue from 6pm until closing time.

creamsicle screwdriver pop soda

fried maple pancakes

4. Fried Maple Pancake Ice-Cream Sandwich a.k.a. cheat day special
Is today your cheat day? Well, even if it isn’t, we won’t tell anyone 😉
Once in awhile we stray away from our usual ‘healthier choice’ fare. Served with vanilla bean gelato, Californian walnuts, hot fudge sauce, and more maple caramel. Sinful does not even begin to describe…

fried maple pancakes

caramelised pineapple chipotle babyback pork ribs
5. Caramelised Pineapple Chipotle Babyback Pork Ribs
Served with chunky, buttery mashed potatoes and crisp salad. Available by the half slab or full slab.


And there you have it. Special menu items are often one-offs. Once they’re gone, they’re gone forever!
We’re making all of the above available until Wed 16 March, or while fresh ingredients last.

☏ Call 86888575 to reserve a good table ahead of others.
Or, skip the call waiting and book online.

⛟ Guess what? we deliver! — Click here to have your favourite TGS dishes delivered to you in under 32 minutes. (nearby areas)

NEW: Golden-battered Sotong Tempura

TGS Specials from 14 Oct 2015
NEW specials for the week are out..!

☝☝ Our featured item is the Golden-battered Sotong Tempura, served with salted egg mayo. Makes a great beer snack, especially because we are offering a 1-for-1 on Barcelona’s own Moritz golden bubbly beer all week — no need to wait for happy hour!

#sharinghappyness


☎ Call 86888575 to book a good table ahead of other sotongs
Easy online booking
Operating Hours:
Mon-Thu 6pm-10.30pm
Fri 11am-10.30pm
Sat, Sun, PH 9am-10.30pm

♡ IG @thegardenslug | ♥ FB fb.com/thegardenslug

Ode to the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014 !!!

Fanciest dessert we’ve ever made ~ our ode to the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014!!! The dome-shaped very healthy, very light and fluffy Avocado Yoghurt Egg White Cheesecake is to resemble a turtle’s half-shell, as well as to celebrate the new stadium opening. 2-in-1 yo SUCH COWABUNGA, VERY MAJULAH! With fancy coconut macaroons as “feet” and Gula Melaka caramel for a touch of local flavour. So hipster hor? Gotta stay relevant lah hor.

Further mutation experiments in the last decade have turned ninja turtles into turtle-shaped cheesecakes.
Further mutation experiments in the last decade have turned ninja turtles into turtle-shaped cheesecakes.
Celebrate the new stadium opening with a very healthy cheesecake. Majulah!
Celebrate the new stadium opening with a very healthy cheesecake. Majulah!

The next couple of days we also have sausage-stuffed portobellos, atop a fancy tomato carpaccio salad, available as an all day breakfast. When we say all day, we mean all day, from the time we open until we close shoppe.

Feel like havin' cheesy stuffed 'shrooms for breakfast? Why not!
Feel like havin’ cheesy stuffed ‘shrooms for breakfast? Why not!

To kinda sorta celebrate Hari Raya, we’ve made a melty salmon croquette “bege-dill”. It’s basically our (in)famous Ugly Salmon Cakes made begedil-style, levelled up with lots of mozzarella and dill ~~ hence “bege-dill”…. Geddit?? GEDDIT??!!

BEGE-DILL hahahahahahaha  Are we the only ones who find it funny?
BEGE-DILL hahahahahahaha
Are we the only ones who find it funny?

"Draw me like one of your french girls" Are we the only ones who thinks our food speaks to us?
“Draw me like one of your french girls”
Are we the only ones who think our food speaks to us?

Next up – now, we’re not not saying this just cuz we own the place but honestly, this is SRSLY so so so so so so SO comforting ~ Anchovy Laksa Pesto Chicken, made by Jo-Anne “The Lady” Slug.

So comforting and no carb, so you can feel super extra good about it
So comforting and no carb, so you can feel super extra good about it
If you have a chance to meet Jo-Anne Slug, you'll know why we call her The Lady. Jo-Anne exudes wisdom calmness dharma karma Aung San Suu Kyi loving kindness out of every pore.  If you ever meet Andrew Slug, you'll also know why he's called The Tramp... (not so much a spaghetti-and-meatball-eating kind of tramp, but more of a fabulous pink feather boa kind of tramp...)
If you have a chance to meet Jo-Anne Slug, you'll know why we call her The Lady. Jo-Anne exudes wisdom calmness dharma karma Aung San Suu Kyi loving kindness out of every pore.

If you ever meet Andrew Slug, you'll also know why he's called The Tramp… (not so much a spaghetti-and-meatball-eating kind of tramp, but more of a fabulous pink feather boa kind of tramp………. #youknowwhatwemean)

That’s about it. Ending yet another pointless post this week with our weekly specials. We launch them every Wednesday although very often we don’t tell you until it’s too late and you’ve already made other plans. They’re usually available through Sunday, and sometimes Monday or Tuesday if you shower regularly.

Mon 28 Jul is a public holiday and we have a Flea Market happening. FIRST SLUGS, NOW FLEAS??! What other creepy crawlies are you guys gonna come up with next???
Mon 28 Jul is a public holiday and we have a Flea Market happening.

FIRST SLUGS, NOW FLEAS??! What other creepy crawlies are you guys gonna come up with next???

http://fleamarket.strikingly.com

Note to self: stop imagining imaginary conversations with self on a public blog. Okbyez.