Illusion – Nipples – Eggsplosion

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
—Douglas Adams

… is naming something ‘mee siam mai hum’ when there is neither mee siam nor a single hum in it.

(p/s: we added a book AND reading glasses to make the pic look… somewhat, er, intellectual. Have you read said book or would you like to win it? Let us know in the comments and we’ll set something up.)

Pic: Squid-inked “mee siam”-inspired pasta with plump prawns • Frothy Thai Iced Tea Latte • ‘The Restaurant at the End of the Universe’ by Douglas Adams (not available in menu)
Mee Siam Mai Hum pasta

This one makes its rounds every other year or so, with the same ol’ peoples calling it “nipples” instead of nibbles and thinking it very funny #eyerollemoji

An old and new favourite. Perhaps one day we shall make a “10-year series” of specials.

Pic: Triple-parmesan-crusted Fish Nibbles, served with our signature zesty banh mee dip
Photo © Nicholas Lee
Parmesan Fish Nipples Nibbles

How many of you can relate this to the two breakfast scenes in V for Vendetta? Hands up! 😀

Basically a buffed up version of ‘egg-in-a-basket’ — we threw it in the gym and whipped it into a cracking grilled ham & cheese-cum-egg-in-hole sandwich. Slay it (with a wimpy butter knife) like the vigilante that you are and watch the eggplosive fun! You can also ask for a topping of an eggstra ripped whole portobello mushroom.

Before the slay
Humpty Dumpty before slaying

After the slay
Humpty Dumpty

And….. here’s an easter egg for y’all ^_^

Don’t we all just love the sight of a masked, murdering vigilante wearing a flowery, pink apron and a tea towel over the shoulder? # ^_^

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Did something “bad”? 3 stupid-simple ways to appease the Parental Unit

Okay, we admit that headline was pure clickbait. Guilty as charged. We’re bad peoples. You are truly not going to find anything here that is going to add value to your life in any way. Please. Just leave.

*wistful sigh*
☾begin lonely Slug ramblings☽

seafood sonata
♪♫ If your parents had sent you for music lessons and you, like us, had failed to make a decent career out of it (e.g. royal philharmonic orchestra member, piano teacher, street busker), you could still at least reward their years of tuition fees by telling them what a Sonata means.
Failing that. The least you could do is put a smile on said parent’s face by assembling a platter of the following ☮ Peace Øffering™ (100% success rate. Yes, we gonna give you step-by-step instructions):

  • 1 x whole fish. Scaled, gutted, filleted, coated with tempura batter & parmesan crumbs, and then fried until golden like the sun
  • 1 x small squid. Gutted, sliced into rings, battered and fried as above
  • Medley of chips: french fries, sweet potato fries, and keropok ikan (traditional fish crackers)
  • Slice of lemon and handful of cherry tomatoes, for colour and the deception of ‘wholesomeness’
  • Chopped cilantro, again for colour, and some people actually like it (not everyone thinks it tastes like soap ☠ )

⚐ Failing that. We are happy to help prepare the above Peace Øffering™ on your behalf in exchange for a small fee.
Peace Øffering Pte Ltd hotline: ☎ 86888575

Ad break for the attention deficit!
☼ Too hot to step out? Give Mum a break — get a wholesome, hearty platter delivered to your doorstep
☑ Order from Deliveroo
☑ Order from Foodpanda

this is not a google ad

tom yum pasta vongole (1)
We’re extending this special dish for another two weeks, because
[1] we ran out of clams last week, and although most of you agreed it tastes great with shrimp, too… we know most of youse really really really love clams. Good news, clams are back in stock ☺
[2] you keep asking for it. Simple as that ☺ Bring yo mama this time!
p/s: we added the notebook to make the pic look intellectual

Ad break!
☔ Lazy to shower, put on clean clothes, go out to tapau food etc etc? ⛾ Wanna spoil the parentals with ‘breakfast in bed/ bathtub’? There is hope for you yet —
Deliveroo — $3 flat delivery fee, delivers within 32mins, nearby areas ~2km
Foodpanda — Slightly wider reach ~3km, delivers within the hour

advertise to our readership of 20! e-mail us today!

frothy rose hibiscus bandung (1)
Last day to try this, if you’re into drinking real ⚘ flower ⚘ petals. Not even sure why we created this; it’s got hipster written all over it and you know we are sooooo not hipster. Or are we? Because someone once said we’re ten-years-old so we were the first hipsters. Okay we’re talking to ourselves again and that’s not cool, Sluggie. Not. Cool. (More proof that we’re not hipsters coz we’re so uncool…)

⛐ Anyhoo, in a few short hours, we’re changing the special beverage of the week to something alcoholic. Like, upside-down-bottle-in-a-mug kind of alcoholic. We think it’ll be a fun drink/game for a Mother’s Day weekend, because everyone knows a family that drinks together spills all their dirty little secrets together.

Even =^_^= Cowboy doesn’t respond to our monologues anymore. We’re so lonely, pls come chat with us. Hi.


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5 new irresistible dishes for the next 7 days

Spicy Sausage Gumbo

1. Spicy Sausage Gumbo
Buried somewhere under all those grilled veggies, quinoa and our TGS no-flour, no-butter, tomato “roux”, is a juicy german bratwurst waiting to burst in your mouth with every bite. The kind that you save for last. This one is for you, Maria.

spicy sausage gumbo

Portobello Lava Cloud Egg
2. Portobello Lava Cloud Egg
Because poached eggs are so 2015, gurl.
This is a lava soufflé egg white omelette, stuffed with roasted veggies and a RUNNY YOLK, all gently sat atop a giant parmesan portobello.
To enhance quality of life, ask to pair it with some smoked salmon, applewood bacon, or honey ham.

portobello cloud egg

creamsicle screwdriver pop soda

3. Creamsicle Screwdriver Pop Soda
Why not get a little buzzed and your daily Vit C dose at the same time?
Vodka, orange, vanilla gelato, and soda is all you need.

Little known fact: get 1-for-1 cocktails every Mon & Tue from 6pm until closing time.

creamsicle screwdriver pop soda

fried maple pancakes

4. Fried Maple Pancake Ice-Cream Sandwich a.k.a. cheat day special
Is today your cheat day? Well, even if it isn’t, we won’t tell anyone 😉
Once in awhile we stray away from our usual ‘healthier choice’ fare. Served with vanilla bean gelato, Californian walnuts, hot fudge sauce, and more maple caramel. Sinful does not even begin to describe…

fried maple pancakes

caramelised pineapple chipotle babyback pork ribs
5. Caramelised Pineapple Chipotle Babyback Pork Ribs
Served with chunky, buttery mashed potatoes and crisp salad. Available by the half slab or full slab.

And there you have it. Special menu items are often one-offs. Once they’re gone, they’re gone forever!
We’re making all of the above available until Wed 16 March, or while fresh ingredients last.

☏ Call 86888575 to reserve a good table ahead of others.
Or, skip the call waiting and book online.

⛟ Guess what? we deliver! — Click here to have your favourite TGS dishes delivered to you in under 32 minutes. (nearby areas)

Singapore’s first-ever pop-up cat café!

This Sunday, we play host to Singapore’s first-ever pop-up cat cafe! ☕

Molest Hugggg and hang out with the sweet therapy cats of Love Kuching Project for a great cause

Love Kuching Project @ The Garden Slug, Sunday 29 Nov 2015, 11am-5pm
photo © Bernice Wong

☺ For only $10/pax, get a professional photo taken with le cool cats. Photos are printed on the spot and uploaded to Facebook SO YOU WILL BE INSTANTLY FAMOOSE! Le hemsem Kevin Lee of CAKE Images will make d*mn sure you look Instagrammable, too. (Pro tip: use said photo as your Tinder profile pic – guaranteed get more right-swipes! ^_^)

photo © Nicholas Lee / Furry Photos
photo © Nicholas Lee / Furry Photos

☺ And! Our friends from Well Dressed Cats will bring their arsenal of sibeh cute cat costumes & cat accessories at discounted prices

Well Dressed Cats @ The Garden Slug, Sun 29 Nov 2015, 11am-5pm
photo © Well Dressed Cats

Proceeds from all of the above will go to Love Kuching Project’s cattery operations.


if you have a cat-molesting fetish and would like to get caught on camera doing so, here’s your chance you cat-perv!

Date: Sunday 29 Nov, 11am-5pm
Venue: The Garden Slug

★ Do you want to bring your cats along, too? Click here to find out more.

♡ IG @thegardenslug | ♥ FB | ♡ Twitter @thegardenslug

Win a pair of tickets worth $264 to A Clockwork Orange @ Esplanade Theatre

“Funny, disturbing, frightening and thrilling… a masterpiece” — Daily Star

Honestly, we’re giving this away for Halloween because of the words ‘frightening’ and ‘horror’ in the blurbs. That’s how shallow we are. But also… THAR BE MUSKLES. WHO DOESN’T LIEK MUSKLES! Hurhur.


Start obligatory blurb…

This electrifying and testosterone-filled physical theatre ‘horror show’ exquisitely captures and transcends the spirit of Anthony Burgess’s original literary masterpiece, 50 years on from its publication.

clockwork hunk

A Clockwork Orange lures its audience into the glorious glass-edged nastiness of Manchester’s underworld. A playtime of orgiastic ultraviolence and sexuality, it is the story of little Alex and his Droogs in their battle against the tedium of adolescence.

clockwork orange

An unapologetic jubilation of the human condition, it remains as terrifyingly relevant today as when the book was published in 1962 and when the Stanley Kubrick’s film caused a stir in 1971.

… end obligatory blurb.

Admit it. You didn’t read a word and scrolled through the eye candy only.

So, if you’re into muscles, milk and guyliner – enter our horrific Halloween Giveaway – you might just win yourselves a pair of tickets worth $264 for the opening show on Wed 4 Nov, 8pm. All you have to do is answer one easy question, and share it with your friends.

clockwork milk

The contest closes on Halloween itself, Sat 31 Oct, 6pm. The Winner will be announced the next day, Sun 1 Nov at 10am-ish.

Click here to enter now!

Aside from that, if you were planning to get tickets anyway — HOLD YOUR HORSES — we can helpchu get it cheaper!

Simply drop by ours to pick up a physical copy of this flyer:
Flyer Front
Why, you ask? Our flyer is muy especial because it contains a discount for 10% off the ticket price. With the savings you can buy more guyliner.

Okay, that is all. Take part now. Byez.